Submission (Part 2)

   Here I was, standing naked in my bathroom staring at the cold water as it hit the bathtub with full force. One-hundred thoughts crossed my mind. "Why am I going to make myself suffer this way? What is the point to this insanity? Can I use a life line and call my mother for this one? Just take a hot one, no one will ever know."
I set my timer to five minutes and I jumped in. WOW! It was cold... not so bad. I wet my arms and my legs. Then I turned around and let the water run down my back. I thought, "This should be easy Elsa, you do cycle showers almost everyday." But as that thought left my mind, so did every bit of common sense that I had in it and I began to feel pain all over my body as I screamed and yelled from the top of my lungs. My heart was racing while I stepped in face first into the freezing water, I gasped trying to catch my breath. It wasn't words coming out, it was groans, whimpers. From a hundred thoughts to a thousand, I felt super high all of a sudden and almost believed that I was watching myself go through this. "Am I having flash backs from back in the days when I used to party? Is that stuff still in my system? Why? Why? Why? Is it alright if I cry? Oh no, my tears are frozen and they don't want to come out!!! Help me, please, someone.  What am I saying? I think my bones are shattering. I am never doing this again. I kind of like this. I am nuts enjoying pain this way. Shut up. Get yourself together and take it. NOOOOOOO!"
    I soaped up and rinsed with only two minutes that had gone by and I knew I could stand it no longer. I wanted to turn the water to hot, but my body did not respond to my brain's wishes. Each second I groaned louder and louder and for some reason a bible verse crossed my mind.
Romans 8:26 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."
And this was true. At that very moment I felt vulnerable and weak, but my groans were as those of a powerful beast that lived within me. A beast that was fighting not the cold water, but my flesh. It was fighting my flesh so it would submit to this process of endurance. This is when I thought I had lost my mind completely because I started to laugh like a crazy woman, jumping under the coldest stream of water that had ever touched my skin. ALARM, ALARM, ALARM. Yes, my timer finally went off and so did the water.
   Now, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub wrapped in a big beach towel I tried to gather my thoughts and analyze what had just happened. "Why did I feel so energized and different?"

Submission (Part 1)

   A little over two weeks ago I received a message from my younger brother ( Trainer and best friend) saying that he found a few articles on something called Cold Shower Therapy. Most of the time when he sends me something different I know it is one of his new challenges and think at that moment that he has gone mad, but of course, since I am curious I read on. After reading this madness that I will soon elaborate on, I laugh and say "Yeah right!". I mean, I love hot showers. Showers so hot that I need extra lotion to make my dry skin come back to life. As I'm laughing at the idea of even trying this ridiculous "therapy" he sends me another message saying that he is starting the challenge the next day. And then it hit me. The feeling of my adrenaline pumping to compete and do it so I can show him that I am as crazy as he is. So I searched through more articles and read how the process goes. It is a thirty day challenge. For thirty days you may only shower with cold water for at least five minutes. This means if you shower more than once a day, yes, you will shower again with cold water. Now the question is how cold does the water have to be? The coldest your faucet will allow you to set it. You go in the shower with cold water and you will end your shower with cold water.
   I wanted to find some support in NOT doing this absurd challenge, so I told my father and my ten year old son about it. As soon as I said it my son told me he was in. WHAT????
The next morning I woke up to someone grumbling loudly in the bathroom and the water was running. Oh yeah, it was my ten year old son taking his first cold shower. I couldn't believe it. Now I had to do it not only because my son did it but also because I did not want to let him down.
   I got up, got dressed and went to the gym. During my kick class I tried imagining how I would do this cold shower thing. Later I picked up my son and I did my weekly conditioning while he kicked the ball around with my brother.
  And so then time arrived that I had to shower. I circled around the house looking for things to do, as to delay what I was about to endure, but I was being watched by my son and knew there was no way out.

Stupid Cupid

Stupid Cupid,

Did you think you would hit me with your pathetic dinky arrow,

Making my mind completely narrow,

To a love that does not exist?

Please! If I see you coming I will hit you with my fist,

Giving my story a brand new twist,

Because I do not want to be kissed

Into lust.

Stupid Cupid, you are flat out unjust,

Causing all your victims to blindly combust

Into pleasure without any measure

And you leave them looking for a forged treasure

That can never be found.

Do not try to push me around

As you watch them all drown.

I am tired of your foolish little game,

Since it has become so lame.

Cupid is not even your real name.

You liar, leave me alone!

Don't you see that I have grown

As someone better than your temporary moan?

I have grown from the groan

Of the hopeless ecstasy you tender.

HAHAHA, Stupid Cupid, I will never surrender,

Because you are such a pretender, calling yourself

"The Relationship Mender".

But I know better now

Considering I know the where, when and how

And let me just say: In my life you are

NOT ALLOWED.

 

 



*****

In between does not feel good.

Suffocated by my own sin I struggle to get ahead,

Still holding on to the past and I stumble.

Why?

Because I chose Christ as my Savior,

But I am not on His team,

Knowing that He is the way.

I let the world absorb me in its temptations

And iniquities.

Why if I know the Truth I walk away

From His merciful hand?

Because I am afraid of the tribulations ahead,

And that shows, if any,

The little Faith I possess.

The enemy enjoys theses moments,

When I question my eternity,

And I open the door to his deceiving ways.

Like a madwoman, I argue with myself,

For the forces are strong on both sides,

And I want the easy route to success.

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want",

Is my prayer to YHWH who has the power,

Over ALL.

Writing In Process (see it happen) Finished

I have the magic, through my pen, to make two incomparable words graze, as your hand over desirable flesh. Soon they embrace into a dance of love, inducing secret emotions within your broken pneuma. Hmmm...yes! Feel it within, piercing into the unknown of your being, making you hot and bothered because I just wrote down your most private thoughts.
"How does she know?", you wonder, biting your lip, reading furthermore and more and MORE...
"Stop!" you cry out in the emptiness of your room, startling yourself. Seeing you can not handle this new perception that causes your mouth to salivate at your naughty brain work, you look away. Yet this is only for a moment, since now you are addicted to the powerful verses I continue to scribble and you carry forward. Still, you were looking for something with more flavor, something like a rhyme, so I take you there and help you hear the chime, while you follow me, all in do time. Allow your chyme to slide and climb into this illusion I offer as if it was a gold filled coffer in your back room. Let loose and accept this proffer that will take you to the moon. Do not be afraid, for I do not write this as an obscure rune. All I want is for you to feel the glorious rhythm in the enchanting tune. I know is not yet noon, but stay with me here. Understand there is nothing clear in this life my dear. And now that we are much near to the end I hope you comprehend I only do this in aspiration for your crippled heart to mend and for your captive mind to extend to a new level of awareness. Nothing more, nothing less.