I wrote this in 2004. I had a great job, everything I wanted, but I felt empty deep inside. Then after a year of not remembering my dreams, I felt enlightened as if the blindfold had been removed from my eyes and this is how I felt.
As I swim in the fantasy ocean that I have created for my own pleasures,
I soak up a few realities that people dump in
when hopelessness has conquered their lives.
Deceived by my own heart
I don't know if to call this power a blessing or a curse,
since foreseeing the future has been my destiny.
Sometimes, I believe myself to be immortal
with many aches and pains that the dry waves from my ocean have caused,
wounding but not killing me.
Closing my eyes is how I try not to see what is coming next,
but this supernatural force is bigger than what I can handle
and the scenes play vividly in my head,
confirming that hallucinations will soon become tangible,
so there is nothing I could do,
except sit back and enjoy the show.
Not only dreams haunt me throughout the nights
saturating my pores,
yet visions follow and taunt me in the days
stirring great anxiety in my soul.
With eyes wide open I look up into the man made blurry water
hoping to be a good fisherman's catch,
therefore relieving me from this torment
that others see as a light of Faith.
